left out

i titled this blog left out because a lot of times that's how i feel with my friends. i feel like they are living their lives and i'm just an after thought. it seems like when they plan something, it's always "oh aubree me and so and so are gonna go do this, come with us!" it's never "aubree i wanna hang out with you so lets get some people together" or "lets just me and you get out and do something."

its really frustrating. it makes me feel like i'm even more ready to be out CA and in NC. i feel like i don't have anyone here. i know that i do, but it's really hard when all i have time to do is work, go to school, do homework, spend a little time with my family, and skype with chris. if i'm out with my friends, then i feel bad because i'm not at home talking to chris. if i'm always at home talking to chris, then i feel bad for not being out with my friends. i feel like nothing i do is right.

ugh. its sooooooo hard feeling like i have no one. i have chris but he's 2500 miles away from me. i know that my friends love me and that they're busy too. but it makes me feel bad when they always have all of these plans and i'm never involved in any of them.

i know this isn't very long, but i pretty much said it all. i'm frustrated, upset and sad that i never get to be around my friends anymore. it makes me want to be out with chris more than anything...